I: I Cugini

Overall: 2.8

If you want to have a stunning Sunday brunch with a gourmet buffet, live jazz, view of the ocean and don't plan on drinking bloody marys, I Cugini (http://www.blogger.com/www.icugini.com/) is for you. If bloodys are an intricate part of your Sunday jazz brunch as they are for us, save yourself the cash and reread our posting for "H".

I Cugini is hands down the nicest restaurant we've gone to so far. There's a strong possibility I was swayed by their bathroom's cloth towels, endless chocolate covered strawberries and the excitement at the possibility of a 4 hour Sunday happy hour, and gave a higher rating than what is deserved.

In struggling to stay grounded and focus on our bloody mary mission, I will say this: the bloody marys are only mediocre. The presentation was lovely as you can see in the picture, but they tasted as though the only seasoning added was pepper - the black-peppered rim, while very unique, didn't make the situation any better.

So, if you want to gorge on great food with solid live jazz playing, do it to it. Just order a mimosa and look like a bitch.

1. Spice - 1.5
2. Complexity - 4.0
3. Garnishes - 4.0
4. Overall Taste - 2.0
5. Price - 2.5

Overall: 2.8

H: House of Blues

Overall grade: 3.4

It's a little known fact, but each House of Blues (hob.com/la) holds a Gospel Brunch every Sunday. Though, regardless of what city you're in, as soon as you step inside you warp into the South. People are dressed in their Sunday best, lining up for all-you-can-eat cheese grits, jambalaya and biscuits & gravy….not the mention the $10 all-you-can-drink bloody marys, hence the reason we rolled to the Sunset Strip at the crack of 1:00 p.m. last Sunday morning.

The gospel choir encouraged us all to dance and wave our napkins like we were second lining down the streets of New Orleans, and apparently it's something they do at every show. I'm not going to lie - this part can be a little rough if you decided to binge drink for 12 hours the day before to celebrate St. Patty's Day as some people in our group did (um….me). But, for people that didn't have to make themselves vomit in the bathroom when they first arrived, this is actually really fun.

The bloody marys were decent here. While they weren't over the top fantastic, whenever you hear all-you-can-anything, you can already assume it isn't going to be top of the line. But, they certainly got the job done; I enjoyed them and our waiter was all over us, making sure our cups were never empty.

1. Spice - 2.5

2. Complexity - 2.75
3. Garnishes - 3.5

4. Overall Taste - 3.25

5. Price - 5.0

Overall: 3.4

G: Genghis Cohen

Overall Grade: 1.5

We debated why the name of this restaurant seemed to combine two flavorful cultures. One theory that arose was that when there were no other restaurants open on Christmas in colonial times, the early Jewish settlers began their love affair with General Tso’s Chicken and Pork Fried Rice. Whatever the reason, my people love Chinese food and Genghis Cohen (http://www.genghiscohen.com/) did not disappoint when it came to food.

On the other hand, the bloody marys were a true disappointment...like when your son changes his major from pre-med to sociology and starts dating a shiksa.

Here’s why the bloody mary was bad:

Lame garnish – just a lime and no olive – WTF?;

Weak spice with no yummy horseradish flavor;

And finally, simply, the taste was just bad– just tobasco and tomato juice.

Don’t be tricked by the fancy description on the drink menu for the New York Spicy Bloody Mary but do partake in the number of drinks on the “Foo Foo Drink Menu” that are amazing; i.e. the Lounge Lizard, Passion Fruit Margarita, or Mai Tai. We recommend you stop by and enjoy the 4 pm early bird special over some yummy drinks at Genghis Cohen, but just say no to the bloody mary.

1. Spice - 1.0

2. Complexity - 1.0

3. Garnishes - 1.0

4. Overall Taste - 1.5

5. Price - 3.0

Overall: 1.5

F: The Farm of Beverly Hills at LA Live

Overall Grade: 4.17

The Farm of Beverly Hills (http://www.thefarmofbeverlyhills.com/) is typically known for it's baked goods. (brownies, cookies, etc.) Word to the wise: The Farm that's located inside LA Live should officially be known for it's Bloody Marys. It's fair to say that these are the best we've had since embarking on our A-Z journey.

Why are they claiming the #1 spot, you ask...? Everything about them was just right - taste, spice variation, size, price, celery salt-salted rim option… I could go on. Okay...I will and I'll add alcohol content. As soon as I was done with my first and on to my second, it hit me like a punch in the face and low and behold, I was drunk. Good news/bad news -- bad news: I drove home afterwards. Good news: I didn't get a DUI. (notice the good news ISN'T that I didn't kill myself and/or passenger; let's be honest, we all know that deep down we really only care about our driving and arrest records.)

The food was also more than decent and it was a surprise bonus that they had a brunch option at 2 p.m. on a Monday afternoon. Bottom line: The Farm is strongly recommended.

1. Spice - 4.25
2. Complexity - 4.28
3. Garnishes - 4.0
4. Overall Taste - 4.7
5. Price - 3.6

Overall: 4.17

E: El Cholo (Santa Monica)

Overall Grade: 2.9

When you think bloody marys, you probably don’t think Mexican restaurant, and in choosing El Cholo as our bloody mary outing, neither did we. In fact, the plan was to find a fun place to drink heavily to celebrate the three day weekend in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr., the upcoming inauguration, and our right as Americans to get drunk on a Sunday afternoon. In so doing, we discovered a pretty decent bloody mary.

To be honest, the details of the bloody mary are kind of blurry. It was the first in a long line of drinks (which were actually pretty good – margaritas, pomegranate margaritas, sangria – mmm sangria). From what I remember, there was some tomatoey/v-8-ish base, an olive, some spices, some pepper, and a pretty smooth finish. Given the number of drinks we all had that day and the amount of food we ate, for the life of me I can’t tell you from the bill whether the price of the bloody mary was reasonable or not, but my instincts tell me it was.

Our waitress was great – kind of a spacey yet subtley witty girl who kept us full with drinks and food and was pleasant all 7 hours we spent there despite the fact that El Cholo forces her to wear a very silly House on the Prairie-like dress. We thoroughly enjoyed our drinking session at El Cholo. It has a laidback but fun party atmosphere, above decent food, and an overall decent bloody mary.

1. Spice - 2.25
2. Complexity - 3
3. Garnishes - 3
4. Overall Taste - 3.25
5. Price - ??

Overall:

D: Duke's

Overall: 3.0

D is for Duke's (http://www.dukesmalibu.com/).

I grew up watching the television show The Price Is Right and ever since, it's been a life motto of mine. If something I typically wouldn't buy is on sale or just obviously underpriced, more often than not I announce "the price is right!" and make the purchase. So, like other things in my life, TPIR applies to the bloody marys one finds at Duke's. No, they're not the best but for $6 in Los Angeles, I say drink up. Dukes provides the type of bloody mary you drink one of and don't regret, but you won't be begging for more.

The bloody marys themselves were your average and standard bloody mary. Nothing that will blow you out of the water, but all in all, nothing to complain about. Celery stalk? Check. Seasoned tomato juice? Check. The bartender definitely followed the rules, but never took the step to add a little lagniappe to made it his own. We were a little upset about the lack of olives, and, although we were excited to find peppercinis in our drinks, one of us received a pathetic, shrivelled up one which is just wrong.

You can't beat the view at Duke's, though, and it's one of those places that even if the food is mediocre (is wasn't - definitely a small step higher than that), you'll undoubtedly be going back for more sooner or later. Also, they have a fantastic beach drinks menu and the drinks on that menu are strong. Sitting right off the beach drinking a strong mai tai made me feel like I was on spring break. Had there been a wet t-shirt contest, I might have even thrown my hands in the air and said "why not?" but...maybe next trip.

1. Spice - 2.125
2. Complexity - 2.5
3. Garnishes - 3.0
4. Overall Taste - 2.75
5. Price - 4.5

Overall: 3.0

C: Chateau Marmont

(Note that this review is of the restaurant at Chateau Marmont, not to be confused with Bar Marmont next door)

Overall Grade: 1.9

Chateau Marmont, www.chateaumarmont.com, a West Hollywood Institution known for celebrity partying, debauchery, and at some unfortunate times, celebrity death, is not, and should not, be known for its bloody marys. I'm pretty easy when it comes to bloody marys - give me a nice thick and spicy bloody mary, or even a mediocre bloody mary with some serious condiments (think slim jims), and I will love that bloody mary as if it were my own child. The blood mary at Chateau Marmont was neither. It was watery, weak, lacked complexity - the spice was derived almost completely from black pepper - and literally left a bad taste in my mouth. The ultimate sign of my dislike of the bloody mary: even I, a self-proclaimed serious Sunday day drinker, had to resort to a mimosa for my second drink. The horror. Chateau Marmont should be embarrassed to charge $13.50 for such a weak bloody mary.

That said, regardless of the fact that CM makes a weak and overpriced bloody mary, the food at the restaurant is super! The delicious french fries lived up to their reputation, and we were all happy with our lunch sandwiches. Drinks at CM may cost you an arm and a leg, but the food was actually reasonably priced. A delicious Steak-Um like steak sandwich cost $17, compared to $18 for a mimosa.

Needless to say, Chateau Marmont is beautiful and you never know what celebrity you might see lounging in the hotel lobby or eating at the restaurant. Definitely go eat there, but make sure you arrive liquored up so you don't have to spend your whole paycheck on overpriced drinks and bad bloody marys!

1. Spice - 1.8
2. Complexity - 1.8
3. Garnishes - 2.2
4. Overall Taste - 2.3
5. Price - 1.5

Overall: 1.9