E: El Cholo (Santa Monica)

Overall Grade: 2.9

When you think bloody marys, you probably don’t think Mexican restaurant, and in choosing El Cholo as our bloody mary outing, neither did we. In fact, the plan was to find a fun place to drink heavily to celebrate the three day weekend in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr., the upcoming inauguration, and our right as Americans to get drunk on a Sunday afternoon. In so doing, we discovered a pretty decent bloody mary.

To be honest, the details of the bloody mary are kind of blurry. It was the first in a long line of drinks (which were actually pretty good – margaritas, pomegranate margaritas, sangria – mmm sangria). From what I remember, there was some tomatoey/v-8-ish base, an olive, some spices, some pepper, and a pretty smooth finish. Given the number of drinks we all had that day and the amount of food we ate, for the life of me I can’t tell you from the bill whether the price of the bloody mary was reasonable or not, but my instincts tell me it was.

Our waitress was great – kind of a spacey yet subtley witty girl who kept us full with drinks and food and was pleasant all 7 hours we spent there despite the fact that El Cholo forces her to wear a very silly House on the Prairie-like dress. We thoroughly enjoyed our drinking session at El Cholo. It has a laidback but fun party atmosphere, above decent food, and an overall decent bloody mary.

1. Spice - 2.25
2. Complexity - 3
3. Garnishes - 3
4. Overall Taste - 3.25
5. Price - ??

Overall:

D: Duke's

Overall: 3.0

D is for Duke's (http://www.dukesmalibu.com/).

I grew up watching the television show The Price Is Right and ever since, it's been a life motto of mine. If something I typically wouldn't buy is on sale or just obviously underpriced, more often than not I announce "the price is right!" and make the purchase. So, like other things in my life, TPIR applies to the bloody marys one finds at Duke's. No, they're not the best but for $6 in Los Angeles, I say drink up. Dukes provides the type of bloody mary you drink one of and don't regret, but you won't be begging for more.

The bloody marys themselves were your average and standard bloody mary. Nothing that will blow you out of the water, but all in all, nothing to complain about. Celery stalk? Check. Seasoned tomato juice? Check. The bartender definitely followed the rules, but never took the step to add a little lagniappe to made it his own. We were a little upset about the lack of olives, and, although we were excited to find peppercinis in our drinks, one of us received a pathetic, shrivelled up one which is just wrong.

You can't beat the view at Duke's, though, and it's one of those places that even if the food is mediocre (is wasn't - definitely a small step higher than that), you'll undoubtedly be going back for more sooner or later. Also, they have a fantastic beach drinks menu and the drinks on that menu are strong. Sitting right off the beach drinking a strong mai tai made me feel like I was on spring break. Had there been a wet t-shirt contest, I might have even thrown my hands in the air and said "why not?" but...maybe next trip.

1. Spice - 2.125
2. Complexity - 2.5
3. Garnishes - 3.0
4. Overall Taste - 2.75
5. Price - 4.5

Overall: 3.0

C: Chateau Marmont

(Note that this review is of the restaurant at Chateau Marmont, not to be confused with Bar Marmont next door)

Overall Grade: 1.9

Chateau Marmont, www.chateaumarmont.com, a West Hollywood Institution known for celebrity partying, debauchery, and at some unfortunate times, celebrity death, is not, and should not, be known for its bloody marys. I'm pretty easy when it comes to bloody marys - give me a nice thick and spicy bloody mary, or even a mediocre bloody mary with some serious condiments (think slim jims), and I will love that bloody mary as if it were my own child. The blood mary at Chateau Marmont was neither. It was watery, weak, lacked complexity - the spice was derived almost completely from black pepper - and literally left a bad taste in my mouth. The ultimate sign of my dislike of the bloody mary: even I, a self-proclaimed serious Sunday day drinker, had to resort to a mimosa for my second drink. The horror. Chateau Marmont should be embarrassed to charge $13.50 for such a weak bloody mary.

That said, regardless of the fact that CM makes a weak and overpriced bloody mary, the food at the restaurant is super! The delicious french fries lived up to their reputation, and we were all happy with our lunch sandwiches. Drinks at CM may cost you an arm and a leg, but the food was actually reasonably priced. A delicious Steak-Um like steak sandwich cost $17, compared to $18 for a mimosa.

Needless to say, Chateau Marmont is beautiful and you never know what celebrity you might see lounging in the hotel lobby or eating at the restaurant. Definitely go eat there, but make sure you arrive liquored up so you don't have to spend your whole paycheck on overpriced drinks and bad bloody marys!

1. Spice - 1.8
2. Complexity - 1.8
3. Garnishes - 2.2
4. Overall Taste - 2.3
5. Price - 1.5

Overall: 1.9