T: The Terrace

The Terrace Cafe (www.theterracecafe.com/) was recommended by a friend who frequently joins our BM crew. She described TC as a beachy cafe and she was 100% right. We went on one of the first "summery" days of the season, got a great outside table and never made eye contact with each other because we were too busy staring at all the Venice locals and their stupid tattoos.

The BMs came in a pint glass, had amazing garnishes and a seasoned-salted rim. I really thought The TC had pulled out all the stops until I actually tasted the cocktail: tasted mostly like alcohol with iced tomato juice with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Thank you, no.

My fellow taster and I decided to be dainty (i.e. cheap) bitches and split a 1 lb turkey burger. When it came out, it had the density and appearance of a hockey puck. So, we could've done without that - naturally, I had to supplement the rest of my meal with half a bottle of ketchup and three extra refills of Diet Coke.

If I lived in the neighborhood I'd probably go here all the time, although definitely not for the food or bloody marys. You can't beat the location or people-watching and the booze bang for your buck is off the charts.

Spice: 2.0

Complexity: 3.0

Garnishes: 4.5

Overall taste: 2.5

Price: 4.5

Overall: 3.3

S: Saddle Ranch

Overall: 3.5

Most of you who know Saddle Ranch (www.srrestaurants.com/) know that it's a good place to get your bachelorette friend super wasted in her veil so you can trick her into climbing onto the mechanical bull and take incriminating photos to blackmail her into partying with you in the future when she is married with kids and lame and isn't fun anymore. But most of you probably do not know that Saddle Ranch actually has some tasty good barbeque, huge portions, and yummy brunch menu, as well as an all you can drink Sunday bloody mary and mimosa bar. Unfortunately, just our luck, we didn't know about this bloody mary bar and arrived at SR with about 45 minutes to go during the all you can drink happy hour. Due to the limited time and our waiter's clear apathy toward us, we determined we would not be able to get our money's worth of bloody marys from the all you can drink bar.

I recall there being a number of choices of types of bloody marys on the menu. Mine was supposed to be spicy, and though it wasn't particularly amazing, had I been able to participate in the "all you can drink" festivities it would have been more than adequate to get me drunk and keep me happy. Like I mentioned before, the food is more than decent, and I was actually quite happy with the half rack of baby back ribs I tore up. Prices aren't amazing but they are reasonable both for the amount of food (huge portions) and bloody marys.

So long story short, don't reserve your trips to Saddle Ranch solely for bachelorette parties . It's also a good place to get your non-bachelorette friends drunk at a yummy Sunday brunch.

Spice: 3.25
Complexity: 3.0
Garnishes: 4.0
Overall taste: 3.25
Price: 4

Overall: 3.5

R: Red Lobster

Overall: 3.4

I read a "fun fact" online that Red Lobster (http://www.redlobster.com/) serves more than 395 million of their Cheddar Bay Biscuits annually. I believe it -- I ate seven before my lunch came out and would've continued on had I not felt shame in asking for yet another basket. And, it wasn't to just soak up the alcohol from my massive $5 bloody mary that was made up of a 2-to-1 ratio of vodka to BM mix, which I will get back to later. Prior to our Red Lobster trip, I was forwarned about the biscuits from a friend who knows about my love for butter, cheese and carbs but I never dreamed they would be as good as they are.

Here's a quick list of more "fun facts" I've comprised about the biscuits:

1. If you were to put one biscuit in a brown paper bag, the bag would soak up the grease and become completely translucent within two minutes.
2. They have 150 calories each. Translation: I took in 1,050 calories before my meal even came out, respectfully.
3. Had there been butter on the table, I would've buttered the biscuits. This isn't a fun fact about the biscuits per se, but just some insight about how much of a glutton I am.

There were three of us who went to Red Lobster and we all ordered bloody marys. Each drink tasted entirely different from the next -- one was normal, the next tasted mildly strong and the last tasted like somebody poured vodka over ice and then flicked tomato juice into your face. The person who got the strongest drink ironically was my designated driver, so that was an added element of fun we weren't expecting.

Long story short, the BMs are a crap shoot but the Cheddar Bay Biscuits are a sure-fire win.

Spice: 3.5
Complexity: 3.0
Garnishes: 3.0
Overall taste: 3.0
Price: 4.5

Overall: 3.4