T: The Terrace

The Terrace Cafe (www.theterracecafe.com/) was recommended by a friend who frequently joins our BM crew. She described TC as a beachy cafe and she was 100% right. We went on one of the first "summery" days of the season, got a great outside table and never made eye contact with each other because we were too busy staring at all the Venice locals and their stupid tattoos.

The BMs came in a pint glass, had amazing garnishes and a seasoned-salted rim. I really thought The TC had pulled out all the stops until I actually tasted the cocktail: tasted mostly like alcohol with iced tomato juice with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Thank you, no.

My fellow taster and I decided to be dainty (i.e. cheap) bitches and split a 1 lb turkey burger. When it came out, it had the density and appearance of a hockey puck. So, we could've done without that - naturally, I had to supplement the rest of my meal with half a bottle of ketchup and three extra refills of Diet Coke.

If I lived in the neighborhood I'd probably go here all the time, although definitely not for the food or bloody marys. You can't beat the location or people-watching and the booze bang for your buck is off the charts.

Spice: 2.0

Complexity: 3.0

Garnishes: 4.5

Overall taste: 2.5

Price: 4.5

Overall: 3.3

S: Saddle Ranch

Overall: 3.5

Most of you who know Saddle Ranch (www.srrestaurants.com/) know that it's a good place to get your bachelorette friend super wasted in her veil so you can trick her into climbing onto the mechanical bull and take incriminating photos to blackmail her into partying with you in the future when she is married with kids and lame and isn't fun anymore. But most of you probably do not know that Saddle Ranch actually has some tasty good barbeque, huge portions, and yummy brunch menu, as well as an all you can drink Sunday bloody mary and mimosa bar. Unfortunately, just our luck, we didn't know about this bloody mary bar and arrived at SR with about 45 minutes to go during the all you can drink happy hour. Due to the limited time and our waiter's clear apathy toward us, we determined we would not be able to get our money's worth of bloody marys from the all you can drink bar.

I recall there being a number of choices of types of bloody marys on the menu. Mine was supposed to be spicy, and though it wasn't particularly amazing, had I been able to participate in the "all you can drink" festivities it would have been more than adequate to get me drunk and keep me happy. Like I mentioned before, the food is more than decent, and I was actually quite happy with the half rack of baby back ribs I tore up. Prices aren't amazing but they are reasonable both for the amount of food (huge portions) and bloody marys.

So long story short, don't reserve your trips to Saddle Ranch solely for bachelorette parties . It's also a good place to get your non-bachelorette friends drunk at a yummy Sunday brunch.

Spice: 3.25
Complexity: 3.0
Garnishes: 4.0
Overall taste: 3.25
Price: 4

Overall: 3.5

R: Red Lobster

Overall: 3.4

I read a "fun fact" online that Red Lobster (http://www.redlobster.com/) serves more than 395 million of their Cheddar Bay Biscuits annually. I believe it -- I ate seven before my lunch came out and would've continued on had I not felt shame in asking for yet another basket. And, it wasn't to just soak up the alcohol from my massive $5 bloody mary that was made up of a 2-to-1 ratio of vodka to BM mix, which I will get back to later. Prior to our Red Lobster trip, I was forwarned about the biscuits from a friend who knows about my love for butter, cheese and carbs but I never dreamed they would be as good as they are.

Here's a quick list of more "fun facts" I've comprised about the biscuits:

1. If you were to put one biscuit in a brown paper bag, the bag would soak up the grease and become completely translucent within two minutes.
2. They have 150 calories each. Translation: I took in 1,050 calories before my meal even came out, respectfully.
3. Had there been butter on the table, I would've buttered the biscuits. This isn't a fun fact about the biscuits per se, but just some insight about how much of a glutton I am.

There were three of us who went to Red Lobster and we all ordered bloody marys. Each drink tasted entirely different from the next -- one was normal, the next tasted mildly strong and the last tasted like somebody poured vodka over ice and then flicked tomato juice into your face. The person who got the strongest drink ironically was my designated driver, so that was an added element of fun we weren't expecting.

Long story short, the BMs are a crap shoot but the Cheddar Bay Biscuits are a sure-fire win.

Spice: 3.5
Complexity: 3.0
Garnishes: 3.0
Overall taste: 3.0
Price: 4.5

Overall: 3.4

Q: Q's

Overall: 2.7

No surprise here, but when it came time to pick a place to hit up for the letter "Q," we went to Q's since Quizno's unfortunately doesn't have a liquor license (http://www.qsbilliardclub.com/main.htm). But, seeing that Q's is a sports bar and we're in the middle of the football season, it was the perfect place to be.

Despite not showing up wearing our favorite jerseys like EVERYONE else in the place, we miraculously got a decent table and immediately started grubbing on their $1 Sunday bbq of hotdogs and chicken that Q's puts on every Sunday during football season. The price was right, the food was great…. so onto their bloody marys.

I had just run 6 miles before showing up, so I was super dehydrated and would've pounded the remnants of the bar mats had you put it in a pint glass before me. So, I sucked down my BM within 30 seconds and honest to God, didn't even taste it. However, my fellow taster said it lacked any real flavor and labeled it "bland." The only adjective I could come up with was "wet."

The mediocre BM wasn't the end of the world. There was a great vibe for a Sunday Football Funday and we'll be back!

Spice: 2.0
Complexity: 2.5

Garnishes: 3.5
Overall taste: 2.0
Price: 3.5

Overall: 2.7

P: Penthouse

Overall: 4.0

After months off from drinking bloody marys, we were ready to get out there and make up for lost time at the Penthouse Restaurant, on the roof of the beautiful Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica(http://www.thehuntleyhotel.com/). Known for having the best view of any bathroom in Los Angeles (the last stalls of the men’s and ladies’ rooms overlook the ocean), the Penthouse is a great place to go for a drink and to check out the great 360 degree view of Los Angeles, but not if you are drinking on a budget. The blood mary was very good; not stand out of a crowd good, but the kind of bloody mary with a complete and well balanced taste that I would keep drinking could I afford to. In addition to very tasty bloody marys, the Penthouse offers some yummy (but again, overpriced) appetizers and a nice drink list, including an amazing Lychee Martini. I highly recommend you go to this beautifully decorated and hip spot with your out-of-town friends to impress them with the great places you know in L.A... but make sure they pick up the bill.

Spice: 3.75
Complexity: 4.5
Garnishes: 3.5

Overall taste: 4.25
Price: 2.0

Overall: 4.0

O: Outlaws Bar & Grill

Overall: 3.2

People receive nicknames for a reason - because they fit. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. "Magic" Johnson. Isaac "Black Moses" Hayes. And following suit, self-proclaimed "grubbin' an a guzzlin' establishment" Outlaws Bar & Grill (http://www.outlawsrestaurant.com/) certainly lives up to its nickname. Before I go on about their bloody marys, please note that this place serves a 2 lb hamburger. And now...moving on.

The bloody marys were great - well-seasoned, priced and spiced. I'm pretty sure they were pretty powerful, though I shouldn't be the judge. In anticipation of tackling the 2 lb-er, I ran 6 miles the morning of in preparation. I'm sorry to have let my fellow blogger and thousands of blog followers down, but when push came to shove I ordered the lox. Nobody was more disappointed in myself than I.

I'm a fan of this place - wooden floors that look like you can toss your peanut shells on, a full bar, their own parking lot and GREAT food. I'll be back.

1. Spice - 3.5
2. Complexity - 3.0
3. Garnishes - 2.0
4. Overall Taste - 4.0
5. Price - 3.5

Overall: 3.2

N = Nightmare, otherwise known as Newsroom Café

Overall: 0

You know when you have one of those days where everything just sucks? That was my life the day we went to the Newsroom Café in Beverly Hills.
My co-blogger and I started the day off hungover. We had been out the previous night for one of our fellow drinkers’ bachelorette party and had drank our body weight in various forms of alcohol. We got so drunk that we stole a camera, threatened to punch people in the face, and kissed an unattractive stranger (and by “we” I mean my co-blogger).
But I digress.
We arrived in the late afternoon for brunch and ordered bloody marys as we waited at the middle of a table for six, across from each other, for our friends to arrive. We were told by our waiter that the Newsroom had run out of their bloody mary mix and there would be none for us that day. After tossing some serious attitude at our braces-wearing waiter, against our better instincts and because we thought our friends would be joining us soon, we decided to stay.
After perusing the Newsroom’s long, disjointed hodge-podge of a menu, we settled on two dishes we thought would be fun: a spicy curry shrimp dish and an omelet with smoked salmon. I think this may have been the grossest food I have ever eaten in my life. I am nauseous thinking about it now.
By the end of our meal, we still hadn't heard from the others who were supposed to join us, so we left: bloody mary-less, angry, bitter, still very hungover, and now a bit nauseous. The only cure we could come up with for our misery was dessert at Diddy Riese, http://www.diddyriese.com, the Westwood mainstay. It worked (for the most part) – two fresh cookies with a scoop of Dreyers ice cream for a mere buck fiddy made things better, but could not make up for the fact that the Newsroom sucks.

1. Spice - 0.0
2. Complexity - 0.0
3. Garnishes - 0.0
4. Overall Taste - 0.0
5. Price - 0.0

Overall: 0.0